Its “funny” how a thought will trigger the memory that has been put away. Whether a good-feeling memory, or whether a catastrophic event, or even a hurtful circumstance. One word, one smell, one simple thought about something seemingly unrelated and the little leak springs out wetting all other thoughts that follow. Sometimes we can merely patch the little hole and go on. If it’s a good memory, we can dwell on it…let it linger just a bit; savoring the sweet moment.
At other times, the thoughts come like a sudden downpour, filling and attempting to overflow the ditches. It takes a little longer but eventually the rain stops and the water ebbs; the ditches drain into a lake, the sea or the distant ocean, by that time already forgotten.
If you’ve passed through a horrifying experience, a deep agonizing, hurtful situation, a thought can be a wave of the ocean that knocks you down and drags you out; tumbles you around, over and over and you can scarcely catch your breath. You try to get up but another wave hits you in the back before you are able to get your bearings. Do you keep fighting or do you give up to the overwhelming swell? That in itself is terrifying enough. But keep fighting you must as you know that the waves will subside. You will make it back to shore. You will be drenched. You will drag your feet through the soggy sand that sucks every step. You choke up the salt water that burns your nose, your eyes, your throat, but you’re stepping on more solid shore and then on to dry sand. Safe. Drained. Weary. But safe.